“Just a reminder for all pet owners. Please remember to pick up after your pets every time. It is very unsightly for it to be left around the property for your neighbors to see, or worse for someone else to have to pick it up. There are plenty of pet stations throughout the property that are filled regularly, so please be sure to use them while out walking your pet. Thank you!”
I wake up in the morning and I don’t want to get up. But I have to get up. I am responsible for getting my son ready for school. Alarms are going off, alerts and reminders for the day. Thoughts swirl in my head about what I MUST get done today without any excuses. I have a bad habit of putting things off and going back to my comfortable bed.
Once I think I get everything under control, I remember.Oh I have to take H***y out.
Shit, it will be chilly. How unpleasant. C’mon H***y, let’s go potty.
I find the collar, make sure it’s on. I push a button to make sure it’s on channel 1 instead of 2. It beeps, I worry that she will misinterpret the beep for a command to run.
I open the door and hope there isn’t another dog on our patio. If there is she will go after it!
We go around to the yard and push the beep button to release her. I look around to see who may be watching me. I tell her to “go potty”. I worry that she may only pee and not poop. If she doesn’t poop this morning, then she will have to poop later. Or worse, she will poop where she isn’t supposed to poop. But only after suffering for a while. Oh man, I hope she poops. She doesn’t look like she has to poop.
“Okay H***y, go potty.”
She circles the area sniffing everything. What must be so interesting to smell? I don’t get it.
She finally has to poop, I can tell she is about to! Oh good, I can go back inside and go back to bed! Horray!
She poops! Okay, will she have to poop again? Sometimes she goes twice.
Oh shit, I should pick it up! Wait, is anyone watching me? Maybe I can hurry away and nobody will see me. Maybe I can just escape. What an ass I’d be if I just left it there. It’s kinda far away from me so maybe that will help me get away with it. Because it will take so much effort to go get a bag and go all the way over there to pick it up. If I could only remember to bring a bag with me it would be easier. Why can’t I remember the bag!!
All the walking I have to do to go all of the way over to the station to get a bag….then go over and pick it up…then back over to the station to discard the bag. Fuck, what a lot of bullshit.
But later today I’ll do at least 3-4 miles on the treadmill. It doesn’t make sense that I am dreading two minutes worth of walking to clean up after my pet appropriately! That’s about as silly as circling the gym parking lot looking for a closer space. Or even worse, that idiot I saw taking the elevator up to the cardio area. C’mon man, just walk up the stairs. Are you really gonna take an elevator up?? How embarrassing.
I pick it up, throw it away and go inside. Done.
Why is this such a chore? All of the mental fatigue.
Sometimes just doing something is so much easier that all of the mental bs I go through trying to avoid it. There are so many examples of this. I dread going to the computer to work…when just getting it done will be such a weight off me. The freedom I will feel by just getting it done. This is real shit! It even provoked me to use Ice. To get me over the hump. To get the job done. To give me the push because I couldn’t do it on my own power.
Is this what meditation and spirituality fix within me? Mediation addresses all of the mental mess and spirituality helps me understand that I need God’s help. I need to ask God for the power. I can’t do it alone.
Powerlessness and unmanageability…reoccurring themes in my life for sure.